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KP Stoller's avatar

It was 1959, when I attended the little red haired girl's birthday party, She lived across the street. At some point prior to the ice cream and birthday cake, I started feeling queasy and lost my appetite.

I walked in the house to tell the mom, who was busy making preparations, that she needed to call my parent to get me as I was not feeling well. I was only 4, and allowed to do a lot of things back then that today would have CPS arresting my parents, but crossing the street by myself was not one of them.

Now, this mom was a little strange mentally, that much I picked up and instead of calling my parents, she put a plate together of those gelatin citrus candy slices, which were my absolute favorite. I assume she thought if I received this I would be less interested in leaving. I walked outside with this plate of delicable candy, but I had no interest in them. I ended up passing them out to the other little kids.

I sat myself down on a lounge chair and realized I had not muscle control from my hips down, feeling yes, but unable to move my legs. I called another little kid over and said, well she was going to have to call my parents now, because I was paralyzed. No, I didn't actually use that word... I was 4, I said something about not being able to move my legs. Never mind I had an IQ of 150, I still didn't even know my colours yet.

I remember my dad coming over and carrying me across the street and we headed for the scene of the crime, the pediatrician's office. Dr. Zole - a very friendly chap with gray sideburns, and I always admired him. In fact, I said to myself I want to be just like him when I am an adult. Ironic then that I did become a pediatrician ( a word that if I never heard again it would be too soon).

Those that go into pediatrics are risk adverse and perhaps the dumbest group of physicians on the planet, even tho the psychiatrists are close behind. I resigned from The AAP in 2008, and my open letter, Les Incompetence can be read in my book: Incurable Us. It was about their duplicity regarding the use of mercury in vaccines. I was a pediatrician that didn't give vaccines much past my residency...something didn't seem right about them; although, it took me a handful of years to figure out the details, which I did by 1989.

But I digress... as it turned out on the car ride over to the pediatrician's office I could tell I was starting to regain muscle movement in ly lower extremities. I remember thinking, I hope no one thinks I was faking this. I remember waiting in the exam room a very long time and by the time Dr. Zole came in I seemed to have regained full control of my legs.

My transverse myelitis lasted only about an hour (thank goodness, because other kids were not so lucky). The years went by, and part of my interest in becoming a physician was to figure out what happened to me. I quered some of the best pediatric neurologists - they were all clueless.

When I was in my 40's, I had lunch with my mom and a married couple. The man had gone to UCLA, like I did, and developed polio. I asked him about his symptoms, did the paralysis come on all at once or was it gradual?

The similarity of our symptoms caused me to look directly at my mom and ask her If I had received the polio vaccine any time near the little red haired girl's birthday party. She responded by saying yes...two weeks prior.

Mystery solved. So, what is my point here?

My point is not that every case of paralysis following a vaccination was caused by the vaccine.

Nor is my point that every child who received the vaccine was harmed.

My point is something far simpler.

History is often far messier than we are willing to admit.

As a child, I was told vaccines were safe and effective.

As a physician, I was taught vaccines were safe and effective.

As a pediatrician, I was expected to reassure parents that vaccines were safe and effective.

Yet I experienced a transient paralysis shortly after receiving the polio vaccine, and not a single physician ever connected the dots.

Not because they were malicious.

Not because they were stupid.

Because they never thought to ask the question.

Medicine has a remarkable ability to see what it expects to see and overlook what it does not expect to find.

For decades, I carried a mystery inside me.

The answer wasn't hidden in a sophisticated laboratory test.

It wasn't found in a neurology textbook.

It wasn't discovered through cutting-edge technology.

The answer emerged from a simple conversation over lunch and a mother's memory.

Two weeks.

That was all it took to solve a mystery that had persisted for forty years.

The lesson I took from the experience is one I have carried throughout my medical career:

The most dangerous phrase in medicine is not "I don't know."

The most dangerous phrase is:

"That can't happen."

Because the moment we decide something cannot happen, we stop looking.

And the moment we stop looking, we stop learning.

Science advances through curiosity, not certainty.

Medicine advances through questioning assumptions, not defending them.

Whether the subject is polio, autism, chronic illness, Alzheimer's disease, Lyme disease, or any other medical controversy, the principle remains the same:

We should never be afraid of the truth.

Whatever the truth turns out to be.

That little four-year-old boy sitting in a lounge chair, unable to move his legs, taught me that lesson long before I became a physician.

And it is a lesson I have never forgotten.

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