A tempest in a teacup - my email exchange with Mark Bailey about social media "likes".

As some of you may know, Sam Bailey decided to make some distasteful video commentary smearing my image and the name of this publication recently. I was taken aback by this display of unprofessional behavior from a prominent social media personality and someone I considered a good researcher and recommended to my readers in the past. I no longer can recommend the Baileys to my readers, but I really-truly-sincerely do not give a fly-on-shit what you read, follow, like or dislike on the internet or IRL. Feel free to like as many posts that defame me as you wish! Have a blast doing it, too. Do it in the safety of knowledge that I don’t give a fk. I don’t keep track of these things, and if you like a silly post that defames me, it reflects on you and not on me. I treat everyone here as an adult, capable of making their own choices.

When I saw the video from Sam Bailey, I posted a comment on her Substack asking to clarify the hostility. The comment was removed. I made another comment, now also posting it as a note:

Here is the text of the note:

Dear Sam,

I wrote a comment here last night asking to clarify why you feel the need to insult me in this video, calling me a fly on shit. This morning I see that you deleted my comment without answering my question. Why did you do it? Why did you insult me first, then when asked why, you delete the comment? You explained it in case of a few people you likewise characterized, but did not bother in my case. You simply used my image and the name of my publication to make a rather silly middle school level remark. This is unprofessional to say the least. I have written to your website contact email asking for clarification of this uncalled for behavior. I do not understand the reason for hostility, because I found in other respects your work useful and recommended you to my readers in the past. I definitely do not hate you. I am happy to agree to disagree and I am happy for people to think independently, and not have the same ideas as I do. I feel that's a civilized way to interact as grown ups. However, as I mentioned in my previous comment which you deleted, I absolutely refuse any attempts at bullying and compelling my speech, and consider any such attempts a serious aggression. I deal with such aggressors accordingly, that's been my consistent policy on my SS page. Liking some post on the internet that you don't like does not make me a narcissist, does not mean I hate you and certainly does not deserve public insults. I hope this is a misunderstanding on your part, and you would respond like an adult, instead of deleting comments. You can contact me at latypova@hotmail.com, and I will be happy to address any of your concerns.

In about a day, I was blocked from commenting on the Baileys Substack, despite my questions being just polite requests to clarify the reasons for the distasteful video. Some other commenters in the thread were likewise perplexed about my name being smeared, and my exchanges with those people were also removed from Sam Bailey’s comment section.

I also sent an email to the Baileys via their website, and I did get the response from Mark Bailey, which I am publishing here in full.

I want to point out to all subscribers to the Baileys Substack that they are apparently not managing that page. Someone else is doing it (with their approval). If you think you are subscribing to and interacting with Sam/Mark on SS however, you should know that’s not the case. It’s a proxy account distributing their content and “cleaning up” the comment section. You know, image is everything, right?

Here is the email exchange. Mark responded to my request for clarification of the smear by Sam:

From: Mark Bailey
Sent: Saturday, August 31, 2024 12:34 AM
To: latypova@hotmail.com <latypova@hotmail.com>
Subject: Message from Mark Bailey

Dear Sasha,

we noted your comment on the Substack article "Narcissists Who Hate The Baileys" and your request to contact you via this email address. Sam and I do not usually get involved in the comments sections of our various platforms and certainly prefer that people contact us via the website if there are concerns. Please respect that my email address is a private one and I request that you redact it if you wish to publish my statements.

It was concerning that individuals purporting to be "truth tellers" were aware of Craig Hutchinson's defamatory lies about us but failed to call out the fraud and certainly failed to notify us about it. Hence the meme in the video suggested they are attracted to lies as flies are attracted to dung. A brief investigation into some of the accounts who 'liked' the post revealed that they were not interested in the truth and instead were attempting to discredit us. For example, please see my statement that I made to Jamie Andrews after the video was published: https://drsambailey.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Dr-Mark-Bailey-statement-to-Jamie-Andrews-19-Aug-2024.pdf It is unclear to us why these individuals, who are claiming to be 'no virus' supporters think that a useful strategy is to cast aspersions on our work when we have one of the widest public reaches ever achieved in this field.  

Craig's story involved accusations of theft by my colleague Dr John Bevan-Smith and implied that both Sam and myself were complicit in these criminal activities. Despite providing no evidence for his claims, the story was promoted and 'restacked' by several accounts so that it became his channel's biggest ever post until we stumbled upon it. Can you not appreciate that your 'liking' of the post indicated to your audience that you thought his story was worthwhile and this added to its propagation? (How would you interpret it if Dr Sam Bailey was publicly 'liking' defamatory posts about you?) Additionally, there is little doubt that Craig took it as your stamp of approval and it helped fan his delusions.

Sam made it clear at the end of her video that we have no wish to associate with those who are spreading mistruths and creating confusion in our community. We have not felt any need to mention you previously but remain disappointed that you had any connection at all to such dishonest and disgraceful behaviour.    

Yours sincerely,

Mark Bailey

Therefore, from his email I must conclude that I fully deserve to be called fly-on-shit and a narcissist because of my misguided placement of a “like” (!!!) on a 3rd party social media post. This justified all this furor! How would I feel if Sam Bailey like a post defaming me? Well, as a matter of fact she DOES like and promote people who defame me continuously, for example, Christine Massey, her associate. And this has gone on for a couple of years now, and it never bothered me in the least. Massey is a deranged individual whom I banned off my page for being an aggressive obtuse bully and for trying to compel my speech. (This type of behavior is about the only thing that will for sure get you banned from my Substack, but with a preliminary warning). Yet, she is Sam Bailey’s associate and friend, so clearly Sam Bailey has been liking the defamatory content that’s been spewing from that infected pimple on the ass of the internet all along. Yet, I assure you, none of this made me think less of the Baileys, because this middle school drama is irrelevant. I thought their work was good. I still think that the content of the videos where they talk about the subject and not diverge into silly dramas is good.

Here is my response to Mark’s email:

Hi Mark,

Thank you for your prompt response.  I will keep your email address private, of course. It is interesting that you mention that you do not get involved with comment section on your own substack.  Perhaps it would be useful for your readers to know this.  I am not telling you want to do here, it's just a remark, because I was under (apparently mistaken) impression that it was a way of contacting one of you directly. 

I understand the reasons why Sam made the video that she made with respect to the primary author (Craig I think his name is), whom I do not know, nor do I know or care about any history or conflict between you.  That's your own business and does not concern me.  

Also, I appreciate your explanation of why Sam decided to diagnose me as a "narcissist" without ever speaking to me (or even having any interest in my work as far as I can tell), and state publicly that I hate both of you, and then depict me as a fly on shit. 

I hope to address your concerns here.  I would like to state, straightaway, that my intention is to communicate my good will toward both of you, despite this.  I absolutely mean it.  It is hard to convey emotional content in writing, but first of all, I would like to reiterate that I DON'T hate either of you.  So that statement by Sam was unfortunately not true.  In fact, I like both of you, I have recommended your work on several occasions to my readers.  

You write:

"Can you not appreciate that your 'liking' of the post indicated to your audience that you thought his story was worthwhile and this added to its propagation?"

I am sorry, but no, I don't see "likes" on social media posts loaded with such great significance.  It may be because I am 53 and grew up in the age before the internet, and maybe also because I am not a media personality.  I truly don't care about likes on social media on my posts and so I do not attach any great significance to my own likes under posts or comments.  I sometimes like a post or comment to mark that I read it.  It is also not my unique approach, many accounts on social media platforms explicitly state that "likes are not endorsements", and I thought this was generally understood.    

"(How would you interpret it if Dr Sam Bailey was publicly 'liking' defamatory posts about you?)" 

As I said above, I wouldn't care much if she put a like on some defamatory post about me (and there are plenty of those on SS), as I don't keep track of these things.  I certainly would not make a video calling her a fly on shit.  If her "like" on some post really bothered me, and I felt it is important, I would reach out to clarify why she did this, before issuing a defamatory public statement about her "like" on a 3^rd party social media post.  This is why I reached out, trying to clarify.  I am not planning to make any defamatory statements, calling her or you any names, making memes, etc.  My goal is to remove the conflict, if any, not inflame it.   

"Additionally, there is little doubt that Craig took it as your stamp of approval and it helped fan his delusions." 

I don't know Craig, and I don't take sides in whatever disagreements you or Sam have with 3^rd parties as I don't know you or your history either.  As I said, my putting a like on a social media post does not pledge allegiance/enmity to any cause or any party.  I have 50K subscribers, and I put likes on a lot of people's posts and comments, and maybe some of those people are delusional, and maybe it fans their delusions - certainly, you can appreciate the complexity of trying to chase all of this down and figuring out whose delusions got encouraged or discouraged because I liked something that you disliked?  

I think the point I am trying to convey, is that I really don't hate you or Sam.  Her remarks using my photo and the name of my publication were distasteful, unfortunate and the hostility was uncalled for and would have been easily prevented by a dialogue.  Which I hope you will consider having going forward.  If you have interest in any of my material or work, I am happy to share and discuss.  If not, that's ok, too.  In any case, I hope to make one thing absolutely clear, that if any of my likes or comments on social media bother you in any way, please know that I do not intend to offend you, and that you can easily reach me at this email address or in my comment section which I always respond to myself.  

I hope we can have an open channel for communication going forward.

Thanks you for your response again.

Best Regards, 

Sasha

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In other news, I am having an awesome weekend of mountain biking. In fact, this August was my all-time best riding month, with 126 miles of single track at high altitude, and 14 rides in a single month. Do something fun outside and enjoy nature :)